


Doing It Better But Making It Worse

by Witchy1ness



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M, all of the heartbreak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 02:13:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14631948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Witchy1ness/pseuds/Witchy1ness
Summary: Okay, so "Anything Pierce Can Do I Can Do Better"killedme. An internal Chloe POV piece starting from when Chloe goes to Lux.





	Doing It Better But Making It Worse

**Author's Note:**

> Lucifer the TV show and all its characters are property of Tom Kapinos and Fox, I'm just borrowing them. Again :)
> 
> All dialogue transcribed directly from the show, so that isn't mine either!
> 
>  
> 
> Reviews and constructive criticism welcome, flames will be ignored.

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Chloe takes one last steadying breath as Lucifer’s private elevator dings. Bracing herself, she steps out not sure what to expect – as always – but definitely _not_ expecting _this_.

 _This_ is a smiling Lucifer (typical), arm held out like a game show host (also typical) to present a lovely, delicate-looking table for two set with lit candles and roses and champagne chilling nearby (not even _remotely_ typical).

“Detective! Thank you for coming!”

She can’t stop her eyes from darting between Lucifer and the table, so confused she isn’t even sure where to start.

“I…thought you were having me over to tell me something,” she says slowly, even though her mind is going a million miles an hour. 

In circles. 

“All shall be explained in due time -” and she doesn’t fight it when he lightly grips her elbow and steers her closer to that gorgeous looking set-up, “ – but please, take a seat.”

Her eyes feel like they’re going to pop out of her head as she takes in everything up close, and she can’t quite stifle the sounds of amazement she makes. 

With a flourish, Lucifer removes the gleaming cover from the food in front of her. 

“I hope you like _chateaubriand_?”

Her head jerks in a nod without her say-so, and Chloe finds herself nearly salivating before he covers the food again. “Um…” it takes a second attempt to speak, and she focuses on Lucifer pouring the champagne.

“Lucifer, what is all this?” her voice comes out so hesitant, so bewildered Chloe can’t believe it’s actually her speaking. 

Lucifer’s still grinning – and the self-satisfaction practically _radiating_ off of him is starting to raise warning flags in the back of her mind.

“This is to help you….make an _appropriate_ decision about your future. And dare I say… _our_ future.”

Chloe doesn’t even register the drink he’s set down in front of her, blindsided by what she thinks – hopes? Fears? – Lucifer is insinuating. 

She swallows, hard, but can’t fight the small, hesitant smile stretching its way across her face. 

_You’ve been down this road before,_ Inner Chloe warns, _and remember how that turned out?_

A pang hits her and a bitter taste fills her mouth but she shoves Inner Chloe away; maybe, just _maybe_ , Lucifer’s finally done with tying her into knots and is going to come clean and then maybe they can be…something else.

Something _more._

“Now, we’ve been through a lot, Detective. And now the two of us are alone, in front of this beautiful meal, in this romantic setting –“

And despite their tangled past, despite _knowing_ Lucifer, Chloe can’t stop the way her heart leaps in her chest at his words.

“ – I can finally ask you the question I brought you here to answer.”

And oh God but she didn’t even think she was this nervous getting ready to confess to Marcus **( _And maybe that was a clue?!_** Innermost Chloe shouts), and Chloe swallows with a suddenly dry mouth, barely breathing. 

Lucifer reclines in his seat, wearing his most charming expression yet – _Oh no…_ moans Inner Chloe – and says, “Isn’t this better than anything Pierce could do?”

And that’s….

That’s it.

Chloe shatters.

And for an instant, she swears time stops.

Her heart pauses, her lungs freeze, and even the candle flames seem to have stopped moving. Her gaze flicks away from Lucifer and then back, her smile frozen in place.

And then time kicks back in and she looks to the side, simultaneously unable to bear _looking_ at the arrogant asshole sitting across from her and helpless to not as her gaze is dragged forcibly back.

 _It was all a game_ , she realizes numbly.

That was all it’d been, this entire time. 

Just another one of Lucifer’s stupid, testosterone-fueled, I-don't-want-her-but-you-can't-have-her one-upmanship games (And _oh God_ if Marcus had also – no, no he would never be a part of something like this, Chloe told herself, Marcus was a _good man_ ), that had nothing to do with Chloe, or her feelings, or _his_ feelings, or anything important at all.

 ** _No!_** Innermost Chloe mentally howls, **_It’s not true, it’s not trueit’snottrue…!_**

She _has_ to ask, even though the question is a gun pointed straight at her head, and her voice barely comes out as a whisper.

“You did all of this…to…to show up Pierce?”

 _Say no,_ she silently begs him. _Say it was for me, all for me! And that Pierce just made you realize -_

But oh God does Lucifer look happy with himself. He’s done it again, gotten the stupid little girl that is Chloe Decker to dance to his tune, completely oblivious to the blood pouring from the wounds he blithely continues to inflict. 

“It’s impressive, I know,” he replies, with such a false sense of modesty Chloe would scream if the agony in her chest would let her. 

And he must have finally picked up something in her expression because Lucifer’s query of “Detective?” is hesitant now, unsure. 

She’s not even aware that she’s shaking her head, too preoccupied with not letting the tears fall as she struggles with a roiling mass of emotions.

Even with her heart shattering in a million pieces inside her Chloe can still pinpoint the exact moment he Finally Gets It.

“Those aren’t…tears of joy, are they?”

Though she struggles to keep her voice even, it cracks with emotion when she finally manages to say, “Why are you doing this to me?”

Lucifer’s response adds another bleeding slash of heartbreak, even as the confusion on his face gives her a flicker of hope.

“To prove that you shouldn’t be with Pierce.”

 _But I know that already!_ Chloe screams silently at him. _I’m only with **him** because you won’t let me be with **you**!_

And Lucifer never will, and it’s that realization that lets the tears fall.

“Why do you care who I’m with?”

_Say it!_

_Say it, Lucifer, and I will forgive you – I will forgive absolutely everything you’ve done to me up until now if you just **say it** …_

“Because he doesn’t…he doesn’t deserve you.”

And that startles a sobbing laugh from her because honestly, how clichéd was that?

“Who does deserve me?” she demands of him, revelling in the fact that _now_ there is the barest hint of pain on those dark and handsome features.

“Someone…someone better.”

Chloe shakes her head again, completely helpless to make him _understand_. “You can’t have it both ways, Lucifer.”

And in response Lucifer opens his mouth but says nothing – _can’t_ say anything - and Chloe can’t stay a moment longer.

Pushing off from the table, she gets up – ignoring Lucifer’s aborted “Detective…“ – but barely gets half a dozen steps before her phone rings.

Work is a welcome distraction, and she pushes down the big roiling mess inside her labelled _Lucifer_ to deal with at a later time.

Like never.

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By the time she manages to escape home, Chloe is so emotionally wrung out it’s all she can do to not cry when there’s a knock on the door. 

_Not Lucifer; not now. Please._

But it’s not Lucifer, it’s Marcus; and the creeping numbness recedes the slightest bit as guilt rises up and threatens to drown her. 

“I’m sorry for just stopping by,” he says quietly, the familiar rasp of his voice causing her stomach to twist, “ – but when you didn’t make dinner….”

“No, I – I’m sorry, this case has been, you know…” she trails off, guilt rising higher at the blatant lie. 

Marcus’ voice gets softer with understanding, “It’s okay. I can say what I need to say here. Now.”

She doesn’t stop him when he steps into the house but is sure her expression is one big question mark.

Still facing away from her, Marcus begins to speak.

“For days I've been thinking about how I screwed up; trying to think of how to make things better.”

He turns to face her, and her breath stills in her lungs at the serious expression on his face.

“When you find that person who gives life meaning...”

He stops to take a deep breath, “Chloe, nothing else matters.”

Her heart skips a beat, and a sense of anticipation begins to wind its way around them as she slowly nods.

“Ok, what –“

But Marcus bulls over her, words tumbling from him in a rush.

“I know you don't trust me, I know I've made mistakes; I've made an eternity's worth of mistakes. But please, let me spend the rest of my days making it up to you.”

Chloe furrows her brow as she struggles to understand. “What? What are you doing?”

It doesn’t really click that Marcus is _actually_ doing what he’s doing until he pulls his hand from his pants pocket and begins to kneel.

Chloe is pretty sure a dropped jaw and bugged-out eyes is the least sexiest expression one can wear when getting proposed to, but she can’t help herself.

“Chloe Decker, will you marry me?”

And for a brief moment of eternity, Chloe considers.

 _Marcus is a good man,_ Inner Chloe points out softly. _He’s always been honest with us, and we trust him._

_He’s dependable and steady and safe –_

**_He’s boring!_** Innermost Chloe objects. 

_Boring isn’t bad,_ Inner Chloe counters. _He’s good to us; and more importantly, he’s good with Trixie._

 ** _Trixie likes Lucifer better,_** Innermost Chloe shoots back. **_And so do we._**

 _Liking someone isn’t enough,_ Inner Chloe snaps, _which should be obvious when you look at our history with Lucifer._

**_But we have history! We know Lucifer like no one else does, and he knows us!_ **

_He thinks he’s the Devil!_ Inner Chloe cries exasperatedly. 

**_…point. But, point! He’s unpredictable! He’s spontaneous – which we aren’t – he’s fun – which we also aren’t –_ **

_If you consider drunken, drug-fueled orgies fun, then yes, we are not fun._

**_He’s changed! He doesn’t do that any more! Now he dances with us and plays Monopoly and lets Trixie drawn unicorns on his face –_ **

_Lucifer always has an ulterior motive!_ Inner Chloe shouts impatiently. _He only does things if they benefit him!_

**_But how does dancing and playing board games benefit him?_ **

_I – I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter; I know there’s an ulterior motive even if I can’t tell what it is. That’s just how Lucifer is. Always._

Innermost Chloe rolls her eyes. 

**_And what about the chemistry we have? Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten about that kiss?_ **

_Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten about the evidence room?_

Innermost Chloe scowls; Inner Chloe presses her case.

_Marcus is also fun to be with – a safe kind of fun. Remember the beach? And he’s been so patient with all of our hang-ups._

_He doesn’t have ulterior motives behind everything he says or does; he means what he says and says what he means._

_He doesn’t play mind games with us._

**_But we love Lucifer,_** is all Innermost Chloe can muster. 

_But he doesn’t love us._

_He just hurts us. Over and over and over…._

_But maybe…just maybe…being with Marcus will help us get back to **us**._

Innermost Chloe is quiet now.

And so, Chloe smiles and nods and says yes.

And when Marcus grins and places the ring on her finger before sweeping her up into a powerful hug, she refuses to dwell on the sadness beginning to creep over her heart. 

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**Author's Note:**

> (I should be working on my Requests for Fic Gift Exchange - which I am; I should also be working on my companion pieces to my How To (Not) Raise a Ravager series - which I also am; but my brain decided to go YOU NEED TO WRITE THIS RIGHT NOW AT THE SAME TIME anyway.)
> 
> Full confession/rant: I was actually rooting for Marcus/Chloe. To be honest, I feel like the writers missed the timing on getting Chloe and Lucifer together as a couple (it's even more irritating because now it's the second show I've watched where I've felt the same way - here's looking at you, Oliver and Felicity). Now, with one episode left (and I realize no one ever plans for getting cancelled), them getting together feels more 'yeah we're just gonna put you two together now' rather than 'fated.'
> 
> Still looking forward to a great final episode though! Especially given the other developments....
> 
> (and I swear I will get around to writing the 'trapped in an elevator' fic I said I would...)


End file.
